Anwari Doel Arnowo
KESEPIAN
Membaca sesuatu yang menarik perhatian orang seperti saya karena sesuai dengan pemikiran manusia lanjut usia, datangnya seperti kilat saja. Bercahaya terang dan mencuatkan pikiran yang berbunyi nyaring: “Eh, mengapa saya tidak pernah memikirkannya sebelum ini?”.
Saya baca di sebuah surat
Selama ini kita menyatakan perang terhadap merokok tembakau, meminum alkohol dan menjadi kegemukan. Mengapa kita tidak menyatakan perang terhadap hubungan yang tidak menyenangkan dan isolasi dari masyarakat sosial di sekitar dan kesepian karena tidak ada teman??
Sesuai dengan sekitar 148 kali pendalaman masalah dengan melibatkan lebih dari 300.000 manusia di Eropa dan Amerika Utara, tiga masalah itu telah menjadi salah satu sebab yang lebih besar dari akibat merokok 15 batang sehari, dan atau 6 kali sehari mengonsumsi minuman beralkohol dan kegemukan dengan lingkar perut minimum 92 centi meter (hahaha ini ukuran lingkar perut saya sendiri saat ini). Kondisi kesepian kurang berteman ini, kurang bergaul dengan dan terisolasi dari masyarakat di sekitarnya, ini adalah penyebab kematian lebih dini atau lebih cepat dari mereka yang merokok, minum alkohol dan kegemukan.
Memang sesungguhnya tidak ada atau sedikit sekali orang meninggal karena kesediriannya yang memang menjadi nasib kehidupannya, akan tetapi kesepian adalah salah satu penyebab dari mudahnya terserang oleh penyakit, termasuk gagal jantung, HIV dan AIDS dan kesepian juga membuat arah yang membawa orang mengambil langkah hidup tidak sehat.
Terbukti dari semua pendalaman bahwa seorang teman yang baik adalah justru menjadi penagkal penyakit. Berteman tidak cukup hanya berhubungan dengan sms dan email, tetapi amat perlu bertatap muka dan bergaul berkesinambungan. Itulah mengapa main kartu bridge, main catur, menyanyi bersama dan olahraga serta makan dan beromong-omong kosong main keroncong bersama juga, akan banyak sekali manfaat dan gunanya bagi segenap usia, bukan hanya orang usia lanjut saja.
Berpuluh-puluh tahun yang lalu sudah terbukti banyak kematian dini dari anak-anak yang hidup di penampungan anak-anak terlantar, hanya karena tidak ada atau kurang ada yang memperhatikan nasibnya yang kesepian. Seorang Professor bernama Holt-Lunstead menuliskan bahwa sebaik apapun status kesehannya dan sebaik apapun tingkat pemeliharaan kehidupannya, kekurangan hubungan antar manusia jelas akan menyebabkan kematian. Hal ini menjadi kenyataan yang gamblang dan sekarang masyarkat medis semua terpesona serta terkejut bahwa kanak-kanak itu amat mungkin meninggal hanya karena kurang atau sama sekali tidak ada hubungan langsung dengan manusia lain.
Adalah rasa diperhatikan dan dikasihi oleh manusia lain itu sesuatu yang patut dianggap lebih baik dari kalau berhenti merokok, mengurangi mengonsumsi akohol dan mengurangi menjadi gemuk. Ada
Saya bisa menyimpulkan bahwa sebaiknyalah kita menjadi manusia biasa saja, tidak merasa diri terlalu dan selalu lebih baik dari orang lain. Gengsi itu memang bisa memporak peranda kehidupan manusia, kalau tidak pandai mengelolanya. Titel akademis, titel kebangsawanan dan titel kehormatan itu biasanya menikmatkan rasa ego menjadi lebih mapan, akan tetapi banyak orang yang lupa bahwa itu addalah beban berat juga, kalau memang dengan konsekuen menjalankannya.
Waktu saya masih lebih muda usia, saya biasa memarkir mobil saya dan turun naik kendaraan umum seperti bis kota
Itu semua menjadikan dan menuntun saya seperti halnya seorang murid yang banyak diberi pengetauan baru dari seorang guru.
Menghilangkan rasa haus dahaga – quench my thirst.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Silakan baca yang di bawah ini sebuah artivcle di harian The Globe and Mail.
Anwari Doel Arnowo – Toronto
Zosia Bielski
From Wednesday's Globe and Mail Published on Tuesday, Jul. 27, 2010 5:55PM EDT Last updated on Wednesday, Jul. 28, 2010 2:08PM EDT
Relationships have health benefits that can help people live longer, a team of researchers says.
Whether it’s working out with a gym buddy, cooking a healthy meal for family or going to see a doctor on the advice of a spouse, “relationships provide a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives – they can lead us to take better care of ourselves,” said Julianne Holt-Lunstad, an associate psychology professor at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah.
Prof. Holt-Lunstad co-wrote a report that said that people with strong relationships are 50 per cent more likely to live longer than those with few social links with family, friends, neighbours or colleagues. Or to put it another way, the researchers say their study shows that isolation carries the same risk of early death as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, not exercising, or being an alcoholic or severely obese.
“Our relationships can have direct health benefits,” said Prof. Holt-Lunstad. “They can help us cope with stress. We know we can count on people and have these resources available.”
Prof. Holt-Lunstad co-authored the large-scale report on mortality and social relationships, which was released on Tuesday. The report looks at 148 studies involving 308,849 people. The average age was 64. The participants were evenly split between the sexes, and followed for an average of 7.5 years.
Those who had strong social relationships were 50 per cent more likely to survive through the monitoring phase than their lonely counterparts, which means that those over age 18 with solid relationships lived an average of 3.7 years longer than those with weaker relations.
Relationships as stress busters: It's something Sham Sabherwal has put into practice.
Since losing his wife Sudesh to cancer 19 years ago, Mr. Sabherwal, 77, has been a regular at Toronto
“Bridge is a game where you can really find a good friend,” says the retired Firestone administrator, who also volunteers with the Red Cross and the Daily Bread Food Bank.
“People are friendly [at the club]. They try to help each other and understand each other’s problems ... grief you are facing, financial problems, family problems or social problems,” Mr. Sabherwal said. “When you share more, it lightens the burden and takes away the sense that you are the only one who is suffering.”
The study’s authors say that being part of a social network, makes people feel needed and boosts self-esteem. They add that people who feel that others depend on them take better care of themselves. Relationships have been linked to lower blood pressure, better immune functioning and decreases in the length of hospitalizations, the authors write, citing previous studies. Social contact has also been linked to oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which regulates stress.
“Social connection is to humans what water is to fish: you don’t notice it until it’s missing and then you realize it’s really important,” says John Cacioppo, a University of Chicago psychologist who studies social contagion, including the way lonely people perpetuate a cycle of isolation in their communities.
Prof. Cacioppo says modern affluence is generating more solitary lives: “It used to be that when the husband – the wage earner – died, the [surviving] spouse had to move in with friends and family. Now we have affluence, so that the spouse is able to stay in the home alone.”
He sees rampant isolated living among the middle-aged as well: “You’ve got a lot of men living by themselves post-divorce and women whose children have left and now they’re alone.”
Prof. Holt-Lunstad suggests the loss of inter-generational living arrangements, as well as a spike in delayed marriages, dual-career families and age-related disabilities are intensifying the trend.
“...Over the last two decades, there has been a three-fold increase in the number of Americans who report having no confidante,” the authors of the current report write, citing a 2006 study published in the American Sociological Review that looked at 1,467 people over two decades.
The decline in confidantes may come as a surprise in the digital age. Despite Facebook’s
recruitment of a 500 millionth user last week, people are losing face time with each other, a point that concerns the authors.
recruitment of a 500 millionth user last week, people are losing face time with each other, a point that concerns the authors.“I do wonder whether or not these online relationships can provide us with the same kinds of benefits and resources as face-to-face physical contact,” Prof. Holt-Lunstad said.
The authors are agitating for public health campaigns that “foster existing relationships and naturally occurring relationships.” The report, co-authored by Timothy Smith and J. Bradley Layton, appears in the current issue of the journal PLoS Medicine.
Dikutip oleh Anwari Doel Arnowo dari The Globe and Mail
